Are we grounding or swimming?

Posted on August 27, 2015

What a month it has been since the last entry! Intense waves of emotions are flowing over and through us, like the waves I was observing in the roaring sea last night. It reminds me of a meditation I had once where an old man in spirit came and sat with me on a beach. The ocean was calm and serene, with the light of the days sun glistening on the waters. It looked like a million diamonds shimmering together.
He asked me ‘ what do you see when you look across this sea?”
‘ i see beauty’ i replied,
‘ and when the sea is turbulent and stormy, do you see the same beauty?’ he asked
The waters became turbulent and stormy as he asked the question. I watched for a moment, at the crashing of the waves, the fast movement of the waters, ‘yes, I still see and feel its beauty’ I answered.
This ole spirit man was quiet for a number of minutes, we both watched the ocean being the ocean. He came closer to my ear and whispered, ‘It is the same with you my child, exactly the same with you’

With greater intensity I am observing that everything is in constant movement, there is no fixed absolutes in this physical world because it is entirely subject to our intention & interaction. What we think and believe we will see, what we feel is going to happen, is exactly what will show up in one form or another. And this includes the hidden unconscious thoughts and feelings too. Which brings me nicely into the subject of the shadow. Oooh I hear you quiver at the mention of that word. I used to shiver at it too. Until I began to realise that it is not a separate part of me that needs to be removed, it is not a bad part of me. It was an unacknowledged part of me. One that had been ignored, suppressed, unloved and totally forgotten.What he meant was that there is the same beauty and power in us when we are serene and calm, resting in natural peace. To when we are turbulent and stormy, crashing around in the emotions of ourselves. That is the changeless nature of who we are. Paradoxically we are changing, yet the changing is returning us to the unchangeable. The simple state we all exist within, stem from, and yet, have the tendency to avoid.

When we ignore or are not loving towards a person what happens? 9 times out of 10 they act up, trying further to gain some attention, trying to get you to notice them. The shadow works in this way too. It is trying to get your attention. It wants to come into relationship with you.
I do not believe it is something that needs to be removed or healed or cleansed, as we are so strongly being told these days. I sense, rather, that the shadow is wanting to
return to us, to be embraced, respected. The shadow is wild, untamed. It is fully comfortable in all realms because it is not bound by just the physical reality that the more controlled human traits are. It does not exist to haunt us, or make us feel bad. Rather it seeks to remind us of the vast existence of all that is. Calling us into relationship with wholeness.
Do we think that creator/source/god/goddess is just nice? Is just peaceful?. The Mother destroys life in order to renew life, she makes use of the poison on her body because she knows that it has its purpose, she knows that it eats away that which is needing to be cleared. There are no accidents, even though it may be perceived as one.
When the volcano erupts, is it by accident? Is it a force of nature gone wrong? Of course not. She is invoking her fire, her passion for all life. She destroys to create, she is always in constant movement. Do we think that Mother Nature says to herself ‘ I must go and meditate and find my calm’ I don’t think she does? It appears that she is entirely in rhythm with all of life, all of her cycles and all of her movement. She is not running from herself and she knows there is nowhere she can hide where she is not.
She makes no differentiation between her calm sunny warm breeze, her stormy wet dark night, her thunderous voice as the weather howls, and the blazing fires of death and renewal that she erupts into on various places on the planet. She is calling us into this rhythm. Entirely in rhythm with life, with our cycles and all our movements. Making no differentation.
We each have a truth, and each other one of us, also has a truth. Which truth is the real truth? And is it possible that all of the versions of truth are truth?

It would appear that the collective unconscious shadow is sending a big shout out to humanity, akin to when a child wants something from its mother. ‘ mummy, mum, [gets louder) mummmmmmmy, mummmmmmmy (now screaming) MUMMMMMMMMMMY!!.. Over and over again until mummy pays attention to the little voice that is calling’ The little voice is us. We are wanting to return home to this void that we’ve all been very busy denying and avoiding. Why do we avoid it? maybe because it brings our attention to all the unlovable parts of us, and thats not comfortable to face.

I had a conversation with a friend a few days ago. During the conversation she was expressing that she felt I didn’t respect her enough, or show her gratitude for her input on a recent trip away. She drove us to the destination and had lent me her sleeping bag. She was upset that I didn’t help pack the car up with her when we were leaving and that I had slept in her bed in the tent without asking.
I listened intently to what she was saying. The part of her reaching out to be heard, seen, recognised and acknowledged. Wanting to be welcomed into love. So I embraced her words, I didn’t fight to be right or to defend myself. I thanked her for the conversation with a little knowing that there was a nougat of gold contained within it.

Whenever I experience a more heated encounter with someone, I ask myself ‘ what part of me is this reflecting? And what can I learn from it?. I always ring a good friend of mine in these moments, he is a man who knows me inside and out, he has seen me in all states and moods and therein I know I can trust him to be honest with me.
His calm presence always soothes me and provides the space to be vulnerable. I cried over the phone as we spoke, in my attempts to understand the mornings conversation. He has this unique ability to bring me into the void within, causing me to listen deeper in all ways.

2 hours later when the call ended, I lit the open fire in the front room.
‘ Great Spirit, grandfather fire, give it to me straight. I don’t want to hide form myself or keep everything all neatly together to avoid myself or life. I know there is a message here for me too. Help me surrender to it. And right here, yet again, (I remember to forget and forget to remember) I am reminded that everyone is reflecting us back to ourselves. By just listening and allowing the conversations to flow in its own organic way, I was learning something new about myself. I realised the nougat of gold was contained within what she was saying. She had brought to my attention how I am sometimes absent minded in physical relation to the world. Floating around in my own version of it. This was an important realisation because I am in the early stages of writing a book, one that requires the ingredients of imagination and fantasy, but also the attention towards the physical in order to write it. This realisation is to be applied to many other areas of my life also.

These 2 key players in my day reminded me of the importance of letting things wash over me, and they also reflected myself back to myself. One was emotional and wanting her voice heard, reflecting a part of me (remember there is no separate me and you, always bring it back to self) inviting me to take a closer look at who I am and how that is expressing itself. The other part (the male friend) reflected to me the calm wisdom that brings it all together on earth, seeing the whole rather than the righteous parts that I may have moved to preserve.
When I am truly authentic with myself, denying nothing, embracing everything, it pushes me through another layer of something i have no name for. It removes another mask I was wearing, one which i didn’t even see before now, and I feel it. I feel the emptiness in this place, this void of nothingness. And the blessing becomes the inspiration to write from.
I could have come away from that phone call and told myself (another story – which I momentarily entertained) that it was all her stuff being projected onto me, blah blah blah, which has been usual practice in the past. Yet, there was a moment of something that brought me to my own attention, and caused me to listen. The gentle reminder from my friends neutral state.
It is not just the unseen who are guiding us, we are each guiding each other. If, when, we can drop our self protection, open ourselves up to each other and listen truly, more often than not, we find parts of ourselves waiting for us to invite them home.

In light (and dark!) Of this article, I would like to bring it together by repeating the title ‘ Are we grounding or swimming?’.. And it seems we are simultaneously experiencing both. Swimming in our emotions and the emotions of those around us whilst grounding into our nameless, changeless heartbeat.
Like a boat anchors itself out at sea. We are rising within a vast geometric Ocean of vibration, waves and light intelligence. There is no ground because we are dreaming the ground into being. We are, in a sense, in-between worlds.

We must remember that the past and the future are ‘ideas’ but they do not exist singularly from each other. They are all here in the Ocean, as waves. Each memory and past event, each future desire and thought co exists here. Nothing is linear as we have been taught. We live in a vibrating, fluctuating wave of constant movement. We have been taught to quantify this into time, into events, defining beginnings and ends. When in truth it is endless and we cannot quantify it.

‘the mind can be our prison or our palace. The most exciting garden to explore or the most hostile ground, where nothing new grows except the weeds of yesterday. We are the gardeners. What we make of it, is entirely our own making. What are you seeding in your garden today?‘

With this in mind I remind myself, I am as right as you and as wrong as you, and that none of it really matters. Because I am not dreaming a world where I need to fight or defend myself. Im pretty sure thats the world we came to heal. I am dreaming a world where I am open to receiving all life, all views and in doing so I am birthing wholeness. And what happens when we birth something within? it naturally grows in our environment..
And i love the thought of seeing wholeness everywhere 😉

As the ole spirit man reminds me — its all the same beauty…

With Love x

~ ~ ~

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Are we grounding or swimming?